Last weekend we started packing up at the apartment. I started with my office and one integral part of said office is my desk and those pesky desk drawers.
I found so many weird things in my desk. First there was a Garfield staple remover, temporary tattoos from a work vendor we fired 5 years ago, and an entire drawer of empty notebooks. (I have a problem, I’m aware of this, but that probably won’t stop me from continuing to buy new notebooks.)
In addition, I also found a copy of the Constitution that I’ve had since college (25 years ago!) and an entire drawer of post it flags – obvious evidence that I was in grad school for three years. All in all, in one little,single, chest of five drawers, I found two giant bags of useful junk (plus all the stuff that didn’t fit in the bags – I’m looking at you notebooks.)
At first, one of the many catalysts that spurred me into PHP & IOP was the process of buying a house. I found it so stressful. You would find a house you loved, bid on it, and find out that another buyer offered cash or bid $30,000 more than you did. There were so many ups & downs, my fragile mind was exploding over the strain.
We offered on one house, we even offered after doing a virtual walk through with our realtor. We were taking a lot on faith. This was the house that the bidder put in an offer over $30K. So, we were clearly out of the running. We looked a few more houses and put down another bid that was declined. Meanwhile, the first bidder bowed out of the house purchase. Maybe they realized that they had overbid, but we were the next in line as far as bid price and flexibility. The next step was an inspector and an official bid/contract from our side. Done. Everything mostly looked good. No house is ever perfect. Then it was time to get an appraisal.
The first appraisal took about a week, and the appraisal came in about $30K less than what we offered. Obviously, we weren’t spending that much more for a house that wasn’t worth what we were paying. The other realtor pulled more comps and asked for a redo on the appraisal, came back the same. About this time my brain had fried, and I started PHP. At this point everyone was a little perplexed. How could an appraisal come back the same with new information to take into consideration? Our case was escalated in the bank branch and finally a third appraisal was done. By now I had moved on to IOP from PHP.
The Friday before Memorial Day, we got the appraisal back and it was for the exact amount we had bid!! We were back in business. By this time, it was nearly a three-day week. We knew they wanted to close on Wednesday, but we weren’t sure, and it would depend on how quickly everything was pulled together. Tuesday around 1, we finally got the go ahead that we were closing in less than 24 hours. Now there was scrambling to get wire transfers and other paperwork ready. It was a frenzy. I even cancelled a therapy appointment to make time to get everything squared away.
We drove to the closing Wednesday. There were still hiccups being ironed out and I was getting stressed. I knew I was dissociating and trying to not freak the eff out. Finally, it was time, and we went inside. The best part so far was that the agency offered me a diet coke and rice krispie treat. I hadn’t eaten or really drunk anything that morning.
The papers started getting passed around. I signed, didn’t pay a lot of attention to, well anything. I handed the papers to Justin, let him skim and sign and then I signed. We did this for an hour. And then, suddenly, a set of keys and garage door openers were passed across the table. We were homeowners! I was finally able to process the fact that we (and the bank) bought a house. We celebrated afterwards. I had a margarita and I got to go to my new house tipsy. It was a glorious feeling.
A tool used by one of my therapists in group is called Ungame. It’s meant to be a conversation starter, get to know you tool, and generally a way for people to talk about themselves.
I LOVED it.
I think it’s great way to journal, ask yourself the tough questions and potentially use topics as future blog posts. They have a set for teens, couples, and families. I have the all ages set.
Ungame All Ages Version
Here’s the Amazon link: https://a.co/d/hQwONM4 (I don’t get any proceeds/kickbacks from Amazon).
An example… How do you choose between right and wrong? I think maturity, societal norms, values instilled in me by parents/family, and own moral compass help me make the choice between right and wrong. Because I seem to have a very strong internal moral compass there are times that I disagree with what society (and sometimes even the law) says it right or wrong. Especially if that viewpoint leans strongly conservative.
Some of my top values that I rely on to help are empathy, bravery, courage, challenge, comfort, compassion, connection, diversity, inclusion, education, empathy, family/friendship, humility, imagination, leadership, love, mindfulness, tenacity, resilience, honesty… There are a lot listed here and probably a lot that I missed. These make up the collage that is me. And to be honest, I’m pretty stoked about that collage (today anyway).
When you purchase a used book, you always run the risk of finding bent corners, highlights, margin marks, doodles and random bookmarks.
I found this bookmark in my copy of the Illustrated Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I always like that people grab what’s closest to them for a bookmark. Thank goodness I’ve never found a piece of toilet paper. 😂
I looked it up and this place still exists at this location. I wonder if the previous owner ever got their appointment scheduled.
This was the first week of the Intensive Outpatient Program. The group started with 7, then 5, then 4, and then 3. I don’t think it’s my presence causing the dwindling – I have been showering regularly. In seriousness, it’s a completely different therapist, only three hours of therapy, and an entirely different vibe altogether. I really liked my first therapist for being so “real” for lack of a better word. My second therapist I like for their passion and compassion to the program.
I’m glad I decided to go to IOP as a step-down program. I wish I wasn’t so tired after group and could work more than just two hours, but it’s a gradual process and I’m learning to live with it.
Since, my manager has been having their own health struggles, another coworker of ours has really had to step up, and take on additional responsibility. In appreciation, my manager and I sent her a couple of gifts to show our appreciation. One was just a bracelet, but the other was a dammit doll. They come with a cute poem that I don’t remember at the moment, but the main purpose of a dammit doll is to beat the hell out of it when you’re frustrated or have other negative emotions. This allows you to shift your focus outward instead of inward, and protects you from hurting others once you’ve directed that emotional energy outward. I made one during one lengthy stay in a different hospital many years ago. I highly recommend them.
I’m hoping that my full time back to work date is in the next couple of weeks. I genuinely think I needed these programs and I’m not sure what state I would be I had I not gone. But I’m anxious to return to a semi-normal work/life routine.
My therapist in the partial hospitalization program was a Harry Potter fan. It was something we could both agree on, among many other things. I wanted to paint on Thursday night, but I just wasn’t sure what I wanted to make… I did a quick Pinterest search and came up with an idea. It’s not my best work, it’s not cleverly original, but we both liked it and that was all that mattered.
Look, I know I have no balance. I stumble constantly. I can trip on a flat surface. I fell down the stairs in December (or was it January). I know that I am a fall risk. But dammit iPhone, I feel called out. >_>
On my first day of partial hospitalization, I was so nervous. But it was a half day and the therapist that day was fantastic. I don’t remember everything we did that day, but what I remember the most was that we wrote letters to our mental health. I actually wrote two and found it very cathartic. I met some great people that first day. I found a couple of geeky friends as well as a couple of inspirational friends. I laughed half the day and found that this group and group therapy was going to be good for my soul.
It was a beautiful April day and we decided to sit outside… for five hours. It felt so good, but needless to say that much sun and no sunscreen, disaster. Before:
We went to the Indianapolis Zoo for the first time since we went with Girl Scouts in elementary school. I thought it was a lovely zoo. In the front is a garden area and a conservatory that had butterflies. Then there were some seals, aquarium and dolphins. We went through the desert area and The Plains. And then we began our trek home. All in all, it was a fantastic weekend.
After Metamora, we drove up to Indianapolis. I admit to not having been to Indianapolis since I was a kid and had no idea what to expect. With my expert navigational skills, we got to Indy and found our hotel.
We stayed at the Hyatt Regency downtown. We got there just at 4, so we were able to check in immediately. I paid like an extra $10 for a “capitol view.” We were on the 9th floor and that extra $10 was worth it because our view was awesome.
I had to rest a bit, but I started trying to find some place for dinner. Every place was way fancier than we wanted. I made reservations at a restaurant, but as we were walking there, we saw Buca di Beppo. We love that restaurant, and we knew that we would be properly dressed. We ordered way too much food, but it was a lot of fun.
We had a pretty good night’s sleep, well, I did. And then we had breakfast in their restaurant. We were seated and we were legit the only guests. It was kind of weird to get all of the attention But, our waitress was fabulous as well as the food. Normally. it’s a buffet, but they said there were so few people overnight, that it didn’t make sense to set up the buffet for so few guests.
My Plucky Life 