Tag Archives: mental health matters

Intensive Outpatient Program: Progress through therapy

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This was the first week of the Intensive Outpatient Program. The group started with 7, then 5, then 4, and then 3. I don’t think it’s my presence causing the dwindling – I have been showering regularly. In seriousness, it’s a completely different therapist, only three hours of therapy, and an entirely different vibe altogether. I really liked my first therapist for being so “real” for lack of a better word. My second therapist I like for their passion and compassion to the program.

I’m glad I decided to go to IOP as a step-down program. I wish I wasn’t so tired after group and could work more than just two hours, but it’s a gradual process and I’m learning to live with it.

Since, my manager has been having their own health struggles, another coworker of ours has really had to step up, and take on additional responsibility. In appreciation, my manager and I sent her a couple of gifts to show our appreciation. One was just a bracelet, but the other was a dammit doll. They come with a cute poem that I don’t remember at the moment, but the main purpose of a dammit doll is to beat the hell out of it when you’re frustrated or have other negative emotions. This allows you to shift your focus outward instead of inward, and protects you from hurting others once you’ve directed that emotional energy outward. I made one during one lengthy stay in a different hospital many years ago. I highly recommend them.

I’m hoping that my full time back to work date is in the next couple of weeks. I genuinely think I needed these programs and I’m not sure what state I would be I had I not gone. But I’m anxious to return to a semi-normal work/life routine.

Mental Health Crisis: Seeking Help and Embracing Support Groups

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Trigger warning: Mental health and self-harm

There have been several things in my life recently that have converged to cause a perfect storm of mental health issues. I am Bipolar 1 and have been diagnosed as such since 2013. I have been hospitalized 6 or 7 times over the course of 29 years.

I was manic for several months, and what happens after a manic period, I crashed, and I crashed hard. The depression was real. I was struggling with daily life chores. Work, socializing, even just self-hygiene. Based on the symptoms I had been having, I knew I was on my way to another hospitalization. Rather than wait till I was past the point of no return, I asked for help early. I went to a mental health facility and asked for a little hand holding as I navigated these difficulties that I was currently facing.

I went to intake and described my problems. I initially wanted to just do a series of evening support groups, but since I was feeling almost desperate and like I wanted to hurt myself (not kill myself), they suggested that I do the full partial hospitalization program first. This meant that I would need to go on FMLA and miss work. I didn’t want to, but I knew it was what was best for me.

I have been in the program for 2 weeks and will stay one more week. It has been a great experience. I have met some great people and even made a few friends. I feel better prepared to adjust to these life trials and changes.

What this post is really about is you need to ask for help. Your mental health matters and needs to come first. If you even think for a moment that you need additional hand holding, reach out. Get a therapist, a psychiatrist, go inpatient or partial hospitalization, go to support groups. What is important is that you ASK FOR HELP.

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline