Not going to lie, I’ve always wanted a label maker. So, I bought a thermal label maker off Amazon during the Memorial Day sale. I was at a loss at first as to how I was going to use my new toy. Then, I realized I was going to take my nerdiness to the next level and label and organize all the papers I’ve been getting from the group programs I’ve been in. No regrets.
I was only out sick for 3 weeks. But in that time, I missed everyone deeply and they missed me too. The proof is in the pudding, so to speak, since I was sent this lovely bouquet of flowers from two of my favorite people and wonderful coworkers. I can’t thank them enough for the lovely thoughts. Bonus was that they remembered my favorite flowers (tulips and carnations) and made sure that the bouquet included those. They were beautiful and absolutely made my day!
My therapist in the partial hospitalization program was a Harry Potter fan. It was something we could both agree on, among many other things. I wanted to paint on Thursday night, but I just wasn’t sure what I wanted to make… I did a quick Pinterest search and came up with an idea. It’s not my best work, it’s not cleverly original, but we both liked it and that was all that mattered.
While I was sick from the beginning of the year, I lost all in interest in my hobbies. I rarely embroidered, I quit painting and didn’t take any time for myself. If I napped it, was a minor miracle. I mostly just forced myself to work hour after hour. After beginning in the partial hospitalization program, my interest improved. Yes, I spent less of my day at “work” which gave me more time in the day, but I also felt like doing something, finally. The coping skills I was learning in group, were slowly improving my mental outlook. Before I knew it, I was coloring, or writing, or reading. I even finished an embroidery that I started in December. Most of my embroideries take a month, two tops. This one took six months. It was originally based on a paint tutorial, but I definitely went my own way with it.
TW: Mental Health
I’ve “graduated” from the partial hospitalization program. I wasn’t sure what to expect, especially coming in from off the street instead of inpatient. When you are in inpatient, you make friends and when you move on to PHP those friends go with you. When you are coming straight into PHP you don’t have that connection. The last time I did PHP like this, I never connected or felt close to anyone. Maybe that’s due to a difference in health level, or a difference in age and maturity. Regardless, this time I made several connections that I think I will keep going moving forward. We’ve exchanged hugs, and phone numbers and we’re even starting a DnD group.
I also feel like a I got a lot more out of PHP this time. Again, maybe it was age, maturity or health, but maybe it was because of those connections that I made. Also, the therapist this time is by far the best group therapist I’ve ever had and unfortunately, I’ve had many. I even painted a gift for my therapist on my last day.
In honor of graduating, I got a certificate, a pen from my therapist and hyped up by (almost) everyone in the room. I was told I was welcoming and had a wonderful smile. I was told that I put people at ease on their first day (3 separate times). One person told me some very nice things that I can’t remember all of since he also told me that I was like a mother figure. I was flattered and horrified in one breath. I will miss them all and am happy that I will still see them in the lobby during IOP. And hopefully some of them will graduate and join us in IOP.
I’m going to reiterate the importance of asking for help. Mental health matters and you should be kind to your mind and all that other jazz. Get a therapist, a psychiatrist, go inpatient or partial hospitalization, go to support groups. What is important is that you ASK FOR HELP.
Look, I know I have no balance. I stumble constantly. I can trip on a flat surface. I fell down the stairs in December (or was it January). I know that I am a fall risk. But dammit iPhone, I feel called out. >_>
At the hospital I’ve been going to, there is a bird’s nest that was built on a megaphone post thingy. The first day I never saw anything but the nest. The next day, I saw that it was a robin’s nest. I love robins. And on the third day, I got the best surprise.
On my first day of partial hospitalization, I was so nervous. But it was a half day and the therapist that day was fantastic. I don’t remember everything we did that day, but what I remember the most was that we wrote letters to our mental health. I actually wrote two and found it very cathartic. I met some great people that first day. I found a couple of geeky friends as well as a couple of inspirational friends. I laughed half the day and found that this group and group therapy was going to be good for my soul.
It was a beautiful April day and we decided to sit outside… for five hours. It felt so good, but needless to say that much sun and no sunscreen, disaster. Before:
After:
Trigger warning: Mental health and self-harm
There have been several things in my life recently that have converged to cause a perfect storm of mental health issues. I am Bipolar 1 and have been diagnosed as such since 2013. I have been hospitalized 6 or 7 times over the course of 29 years.
I was manic for several months, and what happens after a manic period, I crashed, and I crashed hard. The depression was real. I was struggling with daily life chores. Work, socializing, even just self-hygiene. Based on the symptoms I had been having, I knew I was on my way to another hospitalization. Rather than wait till I was past the point of no return, I asked for help early. I went to a mental health facility and asked for a little hand holding as I navigated these difficulties that I was currently facing.
I went to intake and described my problems. I initially wanted to just do a series of evening support groups, but since I was feeling almost desperate and like I wanted to hurt myself (not kill myself), they suggested that I do the full partial hospitalization program first. This meant that I would need to go on FMLA and miss work. I didn’t want to, but I knew it was what was best for me.
I have been in the program for 2 weeks and will stay one more week. It has been a great experience. I have met some great people and even made a few friends. I feel better prepared to adjust to these life trials and changes.
What this post is really about is you need to ask for help. Your mental health matters and needs to come first. If you even think for a moment that you need additional hand holding, reach out. Get a therapist, a psychiatrist, go inpatient or partial hospitalization, go to support groups. What is important is that you ASK FOR HELP.
We went to the Indianapolis Zoo for the first time since we went with Girl Scouts in elementary school. I thought it was a lovely zoo. In the front is a garden area and a conservatory that had butterflies. Then there were some seals, aquarium and dolphins. We went through the desert area and The Plains. And then we began our trek home. All in all, it was a fantastic weekend.
My Plucky Life 